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After BreakUp, Life Goes On.

Day 19

One of the hardest things to do in life is to walk out or let go of a relationship. No matter what the cause of a breakup, learning to let go just often isn’t easy to do. It could be the one that got away, a first love, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or unrequited love. Regardless of the situation, learning to let go of what’s over is often a very difficult thing to do and the hurt can often last for years if a person simply won’t break the hold.
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Murder In The Theatre

Day 10 of 30

I looked at him, his face stone-cold and un-moving. My appeal to him gone un-noticed. I tried talking myself out of it but i knew otherwise because this was best for three of us. Countdown started, tapping my feet on the ground incessantly. My mind in a turmoil of it’s own. If only I had heeded to advices, looking at him now, I wonder how I got charmed by his sweet talks. Now he’s taking from the flesh of my womb and he’s destroying it. I stared at the receipt in my mind. Only the amount paid was written on it, nothing else. Not even what the money was meant for.

My name got called, I looked at him for re-assurance but none was given. My mind went blank and my legs refused to stand up. My name was called again. Then it dawned on me that the moment was near. I stood up on jittery legs and still no word of comfort from him. Everyone looked at me and not him, embarrassed is a small word for how felt. I wish the ground would swallow me up. I cursed the day I meet him.

Moving towards the attendant in green shrubs, she directed me into a cubicle, gave me green overall and told me to change. I felt used displaying my nudity to just anybody. She gave me this icy look and told me what am I waiting for, do I think they have all day for me? In robot-like movement, I stripped naked and I changed. I waited for her to call me out and it felt like a million years. I wanted to change my mind and leave but I knew this was for the better.

The doctor came to meet me, a bald guy with no re-assuring look on his face. He looked devil-sent. He looked at me and the look gave me goosebumps. He told me it would be over in minutes that he had done over hundreds of it but his voice held no reassurance for me. I thought to myself, nobody knows ‘m here. If I die, my so-called boyfriend could as well just leave and I would just be another ‘john doe’ in the mortuary.

I was wheeled into the theatre room and reality finally dawned on me. In a moment of panic, I told him I’m not doing again. He turned, had this smile on his face that belonged nowhere in the theatre and told me to relax. I nodded and he gave directions to his nurses.

I was put on drip, and I lost consciousness for some minutes. Waking back to reality, I was semi-conscious, my legs have already been separated. I felt like garbage, I felt used, I felt like a dirty rag. I was seeing things in spiraling way. The doctor came over told me not to resist it and he picked up his instrument of death. I wondered how many people he had used it on. He went in-between my legs and his fingers were probing into my privates.

The pain was sharp and sudden, like a thousand needles pricking a numb feet. I felt blood gush out of my body and his fingers continued probing. Can’t tell how I knew but I felt the exact moment life was removed from the foetus. It was disconnected from me and dropped into a pan. I looked at it and tears dropped freely from my eyes. I felt numb and no pain was being transmitted back to my brain.

It might have been the future president of the country, it might have been the most richest person in the world/continent. But now, it’s just another material that can’t say it ever lived. I can’t even take it with me. As a souvenir or a trophy to show the world that in here, lies someone who could have being a great person.

The drip began to wear off and I was coming to full consciousness gradually. I tried standing but I fell back feeling dizzy. Gathering strength, I wore my clothes and I was told I was free to go. The doctor gave me some drugs, told me how to use them and I was bidded goodbye.

I walked back into the waiting room, went to meet the guy I came with {I can’t bring myself to call him my boyfriend} or rather a ‘father to be’ till some minutes ago. And he held my hand and we both walked out together. Upon reaching the door, I heard the receptionist call out another name.

15th April 2012

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