Day 7 0f 30…
Hmmm, did i say i don’t believe in coincidence??? Yesternight, around 2am, was about sleeping and i was wondering what topic i would use for today’s post. I powered on my laptop, opened Windows Media Player, and i clicked on drake’s Farewell album. That album just have a way of soothing my nerves. I decided to check other people’s blog thinking that i should get inspired from someone’s writeup. First blog i went to was @Kemmiiii‘s. And the 1st post i saw there was a poem on ‘Trust Issues’ by @farideey. Click here to read it. Dunno what pulled my attention to it but the song that was drifting from the speakers at that very moment was drake’s “Trust Issues”. At that moment i knew the theme of my next post. Is that Coincidence?
Have you experienced violations of trust as a child or violations of trust as an adult. It’s normal to experience difficulties trusting others. It’s normal to experience difficulties trusting one’s self. It’s normal to assume that if you go through bad things, you must somehow have deserved them and it’s normal to think you’re stupid if you don’t see what you did to deserve what you got. Yeah, we we are all victims of that.
It is pretty much essential to start off dealing with trust issues by acknowledging that they come from hurts and traumas, and that its normal to have them under those circumstances. Under other circumstances, it comes from not wanting to get hurt, this happens in most relationship. Atfer getting hurt in other relationship, you enter a new one with doubt in your mind. Not wanting to experience the same thing, u love reservedly, yeah, reservedly. You leave allowance for excuses and fuck-ups.
It is very important to talk to someone about what goes on in one’s head. We are a species that needs the clarification that talking about things brings. It is one of the dumbest things in the world to assume that childhood neglect or abuse was deserved (yes, its normal, but its still dumb). Yeah very dumb, it’s a big psychological thing to surmount, be it sexual abuse or domestic violence, with time some things fail to heal, but having someone to talk to can help resolve things.
People do complain of trust issues, saying they are so anxious tin relationships that they got overly controlling, paranoid over nothing and always o an accusatory tone and general emotional abuse. They say they find themselves watching themselves do this, unable to exert any control over their own behavior. They ultimately cause the demise of valued relationships while panicking about the loss while they do it. This is a trust issue. However, it’s usually more an issue of not trusting one’s self. For the individual who does this to him- or herself without good cause, there’s usually an underlying assumption of unworthiness of a good relationship. There’s a belief that the relationship is an accident. There’s a pervasive sense of being extremely let-go-able that seems to increase over time. (“S/He can’t possibly really be in love with me,” …. “S/He will be cheating on me, if it’s not already happening — I just know it.” …. “It’s only a matter of time until I’m abandoned again.” …. “I can’t stand not knowing!” …. “I’m going to confront her/him as soon as I get home!” …. “I’m NOT going to stand for this!”)
Looking for a reason where none is needed is crap. Relationship wise, you guys should have reached a stage before you agreed to start dating even if you just met yesterday and you started dating today. No excuse to start feeling insecure and start acting up over nothing. Like they say, “A relationship is meant for two”. And like i do add, “some girls stopped counting and some guys lost count”.
Of recent, i tweeted “i barely trust myself, so why should i trust you?”. Reflect on that. How well do you trust yourself? I trust myself to a certain limit, beyond that limit, i can’t say what i would do in any situ.
Lemme end this with a quote from drake’s trust issues
“You actin’ like it’s somebody you don’t know
Tell me how the f-ck we supposed to stay friends
When you got a bunch of feelings that you don’t show
I can tell, I can tell, I can tell certain people don’t like me no more.”
Btw, i had to reference some psychological site to write this. Thanks…
12th April 2012